MY FIRST EVER DATE !!!

THE GENESIS

“You do dance well, I liked it…..” that was the statement that I heard when I was chucking off stage after performing a very splendid ragga and hip hop dance. The year was 2008 and I had joined a dance group in church and we were just trying to find our footing within the dance industry. Our group was called ICED (In Christ Ever Dancers). 

When I cleared high school, I had started attending CITAM (Formerly known as NPC). And this happed so when I found out that my mum had paid a camp for me and I was supposed to attend it in December 2007. Seriously… the last time I stepped into a church before that day was …eeehhh ... mhmhmhm … aha!!! …. I can’t even remember. Anyway I did go for the camp which was going on for one full week. And it was during the camp that I discovered that I can actually dance. You know, it actually dawned on me that I never had two left feet subsequent to my earlier beliefs that I had. By the way I think everyone can dance, it just depends on what you’re dancing with i.e. Legs, head, hands or even the whole body. He he he!!! And at that time I used to dance to Crunk and Hip hop music. So after the camp, I decided to join ICED Dance crew in 2007 to develop my dancing skills and probably showcase them. By the way, did I just tell you that I was a crowd puller during my solo acts on the stage? Aha …!!!  Trust me, people used to cheer and applaud me while on it, especially girls (just to stress the point). Which dude wouldn’t want that really? C’mon, at that age? I was no exception and I used to like that.

THE ENCOUNTER 

Anyway flash forward to 2008 in a youth week event in our church. After we had done our act on the stage and there were cheers all over the place and I even heard people calling my name like “Val….Val….Val….” I felt being like I was on top of the world. Feeling of greatness was inside me.

But wait; amid all those cheers, there was only one voice and one statement that caught my attention. And now this was the statement “You do dance well, I liked it…..” It was a sleek, smooth and soft voice. I immediately turn on my back to check what or who was that and I was stunned by what was in front of me. It was the kind of picturesque that could make tongues wag & wiggle (and probably remain like that forever). 

Beauty, Charm and fascination stood in front of me and as a result of that, I was sent into a world of imaginations for like 30 seconds trying to swallow what was in front of view. A young lady who was probably 19 or 20 stood in front of me with her eyes right on mine. Goodness….!!! Her beauty was almost melting my heart away and at one moment I felt that my life was at a standstill. 

I usually don’t waste a lot of time when I get myself in such situations, you see, this was an opportunity that had brought itself into my hands and there was no way I could throw it away.(talk of an opportunistic). So I stretched my hand to greet her while at the same time thanking her for the compliment. I proceeded to ask her name. Aha!!! She was called *Joy*. (♪♪♫ Joy to the world the Lord is coming……♪♪ ♪).  (by the way, all this time, everything outside the two of us was moving forward, the event was going on, it was only me and her who were still in that “coma’ like situation).

 

With no words to express ourselves, we decided to part ways; she went back to her sit and I went outside to get some fresh air. All this time I was just thinking about her and the whole encounter thing.

I was just making strategies on how I’ll approach her and probably get to chat with her and see what was in for me. 

When the event ended and people were now coming out, I was busy arranging and rearranging words in my mind. One thing that was hot on me was getting her phone number. Now guys, this will help for future communication especially when she says that she’s in a hurry (A lady will use that statement if she’s avoiding you). Getting her digits was just major in my mind. Then there she came out. Goodness …!!! I was seriously sweating and my heart was running 3 digits Km/hr. 

“Do you remember me? I was that dude who you…..blah… blah…blah…”  Who approaches a lady like that??? …I should have started with something like “Hey miss, how are you faring….?” That would even make some sense and sound cool. Anyway don’t blame me; you have to first understand what I was going through (mental & emotional athletics – a case of a running heart and mind). We actually got into a conversation and I kept it well going. I felt like a king in front of 3000 men ready to battle. 

Sensing that she was about to leave, I proceeded in to put up that complex yet easy request. “Would you mind giving me your digits?”  And you can imagine what the response was; she replied in a soft voice and eloquent Voice saying “No!” I tried to convince her to give me her digits but all this ended up in vain. And she did bid me bye as she walked away with her cousin. Mind you, I have never seen this lady and this could be the last time to see her. So the only thing is to accept that she’s gone and move on with life.

And so it happened that I decided to “Accept and move on.” 

A week later as I was coming out of the dance practice session, I met her cousin just outside the gate waiting for me. I just decided to say hi to her (you know those that you give with raised eyebrows) and kept walking only to be stopped by her hand. So stunned I was. Being the kind person I am (Just saying), I decided to attend to her. And this was the message that she flashed on my face. “Joy said that I give you her phone number…..”  Trust me, this got me by surprise for the fact that I had moved on. As I decided to move on, there was some good feeling in my heart because it seemed that the lady went to think about my request and she gave in. As I said and I’ll say it again, I don’t waste time with such matters. So I proceeded to call her. We kept calling each other for one week till we decided to meet. In short we decided to have a Date…!!! 

THE DATE

I was coming out of the Railways Training Institute after collecting my hard earned cash when I received a call from Joy. She was like:

“Do you mind us meeting here in Kasarani” Me: Why” Joy: My mum is sick and she doesn’t want me to go far away from her……”

 I couldn’t disagree because this was that opportunity that I have been waiting for all that time. Joy’s home was in Kasarani and she only came to Buruburu after being invited by her cousin who stays there. And she wanted us to meet in Kasarani, a place that I barely knew well. To be specific she requested that we meet at Kasarani Sports view Hotel which got me by surprise. That place by its name looked very expensive especially for my first date. 

But wait, one thing, it so happened that this date was set up on that day of the week that I was receiving my salary. And so I was loaded, not with weapons but cash. Ha Ha Ha …!!!

Something that I was taught not by anyone but by experience is that, you don’t carry all your eggs in one basket. Same thing with cash, you don’t carry all the cash you have in your wallet especially when going for a date. You distribute it into other pockets too.

The one in the wallet was to be used to pay for the date. The one in the back left pocket served as emergency cash for transport. Then I also put some in the tiny front pocket of my jeans on the right side. That served as super – emergency cash… (Lol:-D), just in case I get mugged, I won’t be stranded because I lacked fare. One just needs to have planned in advance and ladies also like guys who have initiatives and plans and I was a candidate for that matter. (Free Advice)

And so I proceeded to the famous Kasarani Sport View Hotel which was not really illustrious with me. Apparently the hotel was like 1Km from the main road and the road that led there was dusty in a manner not qualified to be called a murram road .

“How on this planet was I supposed to walk all that way, seriously? Anyway Love or “Love” has a price to be paid for and sacrifices have to be made, right? (God had to sacrifice His only Son as the ultimate price for our sins to be forgiven (John 3:16). 

When I got at the gate, I had to behave like someone who knew where he was going. So I put on my confidence garment so as to easily pass through that gate that had some mean looking security officers. (I just don’t know why they all look that way except for the ones who guard estates and courts). 

When I entered that gate, on my left was a verandah that had seats and tables, for patrons, same with my right as I made the conclusion. Straight in front of me was the patron’s receiving area. I decided to proceed there as I also considered myself a patron too. 

The receiving wardens directed me to a seat and they served me with the menu. Goodness…!!! I felt like MVP (Most Valuable Patron) Aha!!!  Who has their first date at such a hotel? That was set to be the top stories once I go back home to tell my buddies.

As the man, when you go for a date you need to either have prior knowledge of where you’re going or arrive early. (Free Advice). And I did the latter because I had never visited the place before. So I quickly run through the menu to see how far my pocket will go. HEHEHE!!! First, the French fries were Kes 100, goodness!!! How now???  Just some fried potatoes and you add some watery tomato sauce. Secondly the 300ML soda was Kes 80. This is crazily insane. I did my calculations and saw that my pocket will part with almost Kes 500. Waaah…goodness!!! And not forgetting if she decides to ask for chicken, I’ll be doomed. I just kept my fingers crossed (Does that technique really help???). I sat there patiently waiting for my date. 

And there she was, majestically walking towards me as I had taken a seat that was conspicuously visible from the main gate.Nothing much had changed from my previous encounter with her. Still stunning she was. There she came. The lady who had denied me her phone number was here with me. I should consider myself charming.

As the kind gentleman I am, I stood to usher her to the table and even pulled the chair for her (This Part: Ladies would go like “Aaaaaawwwww,” …Lol) Yeah I am gentleman. 

And now this is where the date officially starts. Chatted, Chatted, Chatted, and Chatted only to be interrupted by the warden who went like “Excuse me Sir, have you ordered.” I actually forgot that I was in a hotel. Anyway I told the warden to give us some minutes. You can imagine what Joy told me.

“I have just had some lunch; I’ll just take a drink.” I guess I was the most infuriated man in the universe at that time. How on this planet do you come on date with your stomach full?  What was I supposed to do with you seriously? Goodness…!!! After all these preparations??? C’mon. 

By the way, just for the record, I never lost my domestic displeasure on her face. All these were just happening inside of me. I had to take all that. So she ordered what she wanted and I did order soda too. I can’t just stay there feasting on some chips yet my date is sitting there just sipping some colored water and sugar. Yeah, it is colored water (a mixture of weird ingredients. By the way have you heard that Coke soda is used a as pesticide in some parts of Asia? Yeah, that should scare you now and this lady too). How will even people think of me?? … I couldn’t do that to myself. So we kept on our conversation (getting to know each other) till we left the place to the bus stage.

The date was over. Then I did something that up to now I find it very immature. A week after the date, I decided to ask her to officially date me. In short, I was asking her to be in a relationship with me. Kind of blunt that was. How now??? 

First, you don’t ask someone who you barely know to be your heartbeat (girlfriend or boyfriend). I didn’t even know about her family, friends and even her past. Most importantly we had only met twice (Church & that Kasarani place). Secondly, I did that on phone. Goodness…!!! How do you propose on a phone conversation??

That one shows how scared and coward you’re. (Free Advice)

Right now I see everything that I did at that time and all I can say is that I was immature and raw.

Anyway we dated on for barely two years. And all this happened mostly on phone till she went to Nigeria for studies (As she said, I never did bid her bye). And that was just how it ended because even after she came back to Kenya, it wasn’t possible for it to continue due to “irreconcilable differences”

Right now, 4 years after that date, am getting into the dating world in a mature way with full knowledge of what I am engaging in. Promising to keep whatever i have till marriage.

Stay Blessed Y’all. :-) :-) :-)